As they say, if only life came with a manual; with the definitive guide to raising your own children!
Arguably, one of the most progressive challenges in life is raising your own children to be healthy, thoughtful, happy, independent, well balanced and confident adults.
Whilst you are likely to be doing a fine job and are comfortable with most of the decisions you make in raising your own children, often as parents we don’t have all the tricks and strategies to navigate our way through difficult situations and when dealing with complicated behavioural issues.
Given children progress through different developmental stages on their way to adulthood, the style in which we parent them needs to evolve accordingly. Indeed, what worked effectively for a few years may ironically now be creating more problems for you and your child. Having access to a psychologist to assist you in understanding your particular situation and what will be required in order to make progress in managing it can be extremely helpful whilst reducing unnecessary emotional turmoil.
We have been fortunate enough to work with thousands of children across early childhood, adolescence and early adulthood. Hence, we are more than likely able to assist you in addressing your specific situation.
Often we see emotional and behavioural issues stemming from one member of the family having a significant and adverse impact on other family members. Indeed, individual behavioural and mental health conditions almost inevitably always effect more than just the one person in a family unit.
When psychological and behavioural issues start to have an impact on the family unit and they are not being effectively addressed or managed in the home environment, secondary problems can often result. In the event that you feel your best efforts are not proving effective and things are not improving in your home, we may encourage some family counselling in an effort to identify and support each of the respective family members’ needs and to develop some more effective family communication and management tools.
Whilst it is often the case that the person with ‘the main issue(s)’receives the bulk of the psychological counselling, in many instances it is the other family members (partners, children and siblings) that end up needing guidance and compassionate understanding on how to deal with their own emotional reactions to the family member who has ‘the main issue(s)’. We have extensive experience in handling such situations.
Poor communication; trust issues; unresolved conflicts and ongoing disagreements; differences in personality styles and dealing with and raising children can all potentially place pressure on the health of your marriage.
If you are concerned that your marriage is not what you hoped it to be or what it once was, you may wish to consider making an appointment to invest in clarifying what you might be able to do in order to get it back on track. Whether you commence this process alone or with your partner is a matter for you to decide. There is no right or wrong way. However, leaving things to chance is not our professional recommendation!
Indeed, some of the most common issues that we find get in the way of married couples seeking guidance are: pride, fear, denial, excuses about being too busy and a lack of willingness to compromise and modify personal views and opinions.
We can comfortably state that whilst each relationship is certainly unique, there are some common themes and elements that tend to ensure that the quality of your marriage is upheld and restored.
We would invite you to make contact for a non-judgemental overview of you and your partner’s situation and to discover a pathway forward.
Separation and Divorce
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics 2013 data, it is a reality in the Australian marriage landscape that almost 50% of divorces involve dependents under the age of 18.
Whilst some divorces can be amicable for both partners and children, this scenario is typically very rare given the respective problems that caused the breakdown in the marriage in the first place.
Separation and divorce matters can occur both suddenly or be drawn-out over considerable periods of time. Indeed, these events tend to represent one of life’s major stresses. As such, otherwise good personal judgements can be highly effected by deep negative and unresolved feelings.
Whether you have children or are ending a marriage without children, there are often many factors and variables to be considered in the events that lay ahead.
We have extensive experience in relationship counselling, separation and divorce matters and can provide you with objective support and guidance so that you and your child/children(s) needs are carefully considered and supported. It is important to understand that children of different ages and stages of development will have different needs and will communicate in different ways. Understanding how to best support yourself and your child/children through this difficult life event is imperative in our professional view and we can help you.
We are also able to help with guidance and referral in relation to custodial matters.
Step and Blended Families
So, you have exited a former relationship and are fully committed to your new partner. The only complication is that he or she come with their own children and you have yours. Whilst step and blended families can certainly work, they present with their own set of complex dynamics. Supporting you in managing the adjustments and ongoing challenges in your new family arrangements is a process that we are regularly involved in.